Most people smuggle heroin…

However… In another episode of: You Just Can’t Make This Shit Up! —- An Australian man was arrested after he was caught trying to bring two live pigeons into the country hidden in his trousers. !!!

At first, all I saw was the acres of black leg hair; and then I heard the >>COOO<<!

I don’t know about you, but this is the kind of story that makes me think I just might have woken up in Bizarroville.

And here’s my favorite quote from the story:

Officers also seized a money belt containing plant seeds and undeclared samples of eggplant in the passenger’s baggage before he was handed over to Australian Quarantine and Inspection Services staff.

Yes, eggplant. That’s the new currency for the end of days. Clean, mean, aubergine! You heard it here first, folks.

(via the UK Telegraph, and it’s Pictures of the Day site. Pigeons are pic 1, my other fave is the David the Anti-Semitic gnome (pic 17))

Bush Meets Bush

President Bush’s official portrait was unveiled at the Smithsonian today. This is how he greeted it. Kind of sums things up, no?

“I suspected there would be a good-size crowd once the word got out about my hanging,” the president joked.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Thanks Amanda Dobbins and Buzzfeed!

My man’s a real cougar…

Three words that should never go together: Burger King Cologne.

Why do all these religious nuts decry gay marriage as a sign of the coming apocalypse when there are such better candidates in the running, such as this fine bit of consumer flatulence:

“Burger King” Flame, the body spray of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.

Spray-on Body Grease, perfect for the man who has everything you can buy at Walmart, and that store in the mall that sells things "AS SEEN ON TV"

What?

I shit you not. Someone should tell Burger King they’re not gonna get anywhere with this body grease unless they price it outrageously high and get someone like Lil’ Wayne to rap about it.

Have it your way (and keep it to yourself): here

Only a Dutchman…

Yep, this pretty much sums it up for the times we live in; but how much do you love this shot? Extreme sports meets the extreme climate reality. Pretty soon, Dan Cortez will be conducting MTV Sports contests in the broken relics of all our cities. It’s like Tony Hawk and Al Gore got together and just got high and made a video game.

Dutchman Duncan Zuur wake-boards the plazza of St. Marks

See the story and the video here.